Partnering Leadership Academy - Community

Consequently, this summary is a high-level aggregation of participants' diverse views and opinions. There are no paid links or referrals to or from authors that are recommended here.

In our last Community Meet-up conversation in 2024, we shared our favorite AHHH moment tools - the magical "helpers" that allowed us to make a big or small difference in our professional or personal lives. We started by collecting our "challenges" for which we were looking for tool support and then used our collective intelligence to share what each of us found to be a helpful tool, hack, or advice. It was a very fruitful round, and we came up with a great list of ideas to test, remember, or reaffirm as magical shift helpers:

Maintain a positive mindset during challenging times

• Establishing daily routines for self-care and reflection, preferably in the morning to start with a mentally centered, focused mind and gratitude in the day

• Using affirmation card decks to bring attention back to your sources

• In teams: Asking solution-oriented how questions to get out of a spiraling problem talk (see as well our last community meet-up call on engagement)

Separate the urgent from the important:

• Follow a daily or weekly task prioritization, i.e., make it a daily routine to review and reprogram your tasks for the day ahead.

• Block out the morning hours for critical, creative work (and eliminate all potential distractions)

• Describe accomplishments/achievements you seek rather than tasks when you prioritize daily and weekly tasks

Engage students in lectures for content/employees in meetings:

• Instead of presenting the content, ask for a video assignment (preferably a group assignment).

• Allow students to break into small groups or pairs before answering a plenary question.

• Shortening meetings can lead to increased productivity and focus (e.g. 30 instead of 60 min)

• Any "how" question or question that helps them relate to their lives (e.g., What does this (blank) mean to you?)

• Use any digital interaction tool, such as Mentimeter, throughout the lecture, including pre-and post-questions that allow them to make their learning visible (see last community meet-up call on engagement).

Remain resilient, but not too resilient:
(which can lead to disrespect for your boundaries and the risk of burnout)

• Schedule regular vacations and breaks - throughout the year (e.g., 1 week per quarter), every week, every day.

• Set clear boundaries around work hours, i.e., schedule your "free time" as much as your work time (e.g., call it "sanctuary time").

• Engage in activities that provide mental or physical distance (e.g., nature walks, exercise, yoga, etc.)

Digital tools that support true co-creation and collaboration:

• Whiteboard collaboration tools like Miro or Mural – these include not only a whiteboard feature but also templates with structured instructions on how to collaborate (e.g., how to conduct a team retrospective, etc.)

• Any team simulation game can help you learn to work together more consciously

• The Game-Changer Index is a tool that helps teams understand and appreciate the different roles and contributions each person brings that are needed to make a transformation successful. It promotes building on each other's diverse knowledge rather than competing with each other.

What are YOUR favorite AHHH moment tools that have allowed us to make a big or small difference in our professional or personal lives? Thank you for sharing your experiences below. I am sure they will inspire others here as well!

Overview quarterly open PLA Community meet-ups in 2024

20 March 2024 | How to create buy-in from executives to invest in a cultural shift (towards a more partnering culture)?

21 June 2024 | How can we guide meetings back into the zone of productive partnering?

27 September 2024 | How to boost engagement - the most powerful questions to ask in meetings

This summer, I had the chance to unwind for a few days in the Swiss Alps, mountain biking through the stunning landscape. During one of my tours, I stopped at a cozy, welcoming coffee shop that also sold handmade, unique gifts. Among the items, an oracle card set caught my eye, so I decided to buy it. However, later that evening, I realized something crucial was missing—the booklet with the card descriptions.

Going back to the same shop was out of question as it was too far. But I remembered there was a second branch in a nearby village. The next day, I went there and asked a young woman if they had a complete set of cards. To my surprise, she said, “No, unfortunately not. But do you remember the price? Just tell me, and I’ll happily refund you.”

I was speechless. She didn’t ask for a receipt, didn’t want to see the cards, didn’t check with the other store—no questions or hesitation, just trust. I stood there, both perplexed and deeply moved by this simple yet profound act of trust. It wasn't just her gesture that impressed me; it was the realization of what it evoked in me. I heard myself say, “Wow, your trusting attitude has deeply touched me. Thank you. I don’t need a refund—I’m grateful for the generosity and trust you’ve shown. You’ve given me a beautiful, hopeful moment, and I thank you for that.”

This small encounter was a powerful reminder of how even the smallest social experiences can have an immediate impact on a shared sense of trust, both in business and in life.

Kindly note that our meet-ups are a space for personal learning and sharing of opinions. Consequently, this summary is a high-level aggregation of participants' diverse views and opinions.

In our Community Meet-up conversation, we explored and brainstormed the question "How to boost engagement - the most powerful questions to ask in meetings".

Key points from the introduction to the topic

• Engagement is increasingly challenging in meetings as people are increasingly located apart, distracted, checking emails, etc.

• Enabling mutual listening experiences seems to be more important for engagement than working.

• For listening to happen, questions are the best tool to use - they allow participants to move from consuming a meeting to actively contributing - but not every question builds engagement

• Asking 'how' questions in meetings can open up conversations to engagement with a most immediate effect

• Check-in rounds with consciously chosen questions can increase meeting engagement.

• Scale questions can be used to visualize progress specifically in relational assets, such as trust, during meetings

• Rather than telling people what to do, questions can help individuals reflect on their responsibilities and contributions.

• Allowing appreciation and gratitude to be expressed through guided questions can strengthen relationships.

The discussion was opened by Dr Eva Bilhuber Galli, who shared her best practice questions for engaging in meetings.

During the discussion, we collected some more questions and also touched on how to engage people not only at the beginning of the meeting (e.g., through a check-in round) but also over a longer period of time. It was shared that authenticity and social role modeling can also influence the level of engagement and create a natural psychological safety that allows for open sharing and vulnerability. Our discussion also revealed that, ideally, we would like to have a genuine interest in each other's point of view - and that good questions are simply a bridge to stimulate this interest in a professional context.

Two books were shared as sources for powerful questions:

• THE ART OF POWERFUL QUESTIONS: Catalyzing Insight, Innovation, and Action Copyright © 2003 by Eric E.Vogt, Juanita Brown, and David Isaacs (free ebook to download)

• Making Questions Work. A guide to What and How to ask for Facilitators, Consultants, Managers, Coaches and Educators von Dorothy Strachan (2006).

What are YOUR most powerful questions to increase engagement in meetings? Thank you for sharing your experiences below, I am sure they will inspire others here too!

Overview quarterly open PLA Community meet-ups 2024

6 December 2024 | The most useful tools you have found to help you in your professional and personal life Register here

20 March 2024 | How to create buy-in from executives to invest in a cultural shift (towards a more partnering culture)?

21 June 2024 | How can we guide meetings back into the zone of productive partnering?

Kindly note that our meet-ups are a space for personal learning and sharing of opinions. Consequently, this summary is a high-level aggregation of participants' diverse views and opinions.

In this quarterly free community call session on "how to guide meetings back into a productive partnering zone?", we began by sharing personal challenges and identifying signs that a meeting is off track. In the second part of our conversation, we shared strategies for getting meetings back on track. We discussed dealing with aggressive behavior, overcoming obstructive forces, and avoiding personal conflicts that often derail meetings.

Signs that a meeting is off-track

We identified several indicators a meeting is derailing, including body language cues like crossed arms, frowning, eye-rolling, and ironic laughter. Communicative behaviors such as side conversations, checking emails, or direct offensive actions like blaming and shaming also signal trouble. These behaviors, even if exhibited by just one person, can create a toxic atmosphere, making others feel intimidated or tense. Recognizing these signs early is crucial to intervene before conflicts escalate and become insurmountable.

Steering meetings back to productivity

We traced the signs of derailed meetings back to our evolutionary survival mechanisms: fight, flight or freeze. To get participants out of this "survival mode" and back into a zone where they are open to listening and relating, we brainstormed several techniques:

• Take a break: Pausing for a bio or coffee break can help reset the energy of the meeting.

• Ask questions: Responding with a question to make sure you understand the other perspective, rather than engaging in a yes-but debate, can help shift the energy, e.g., "Interesting, I never thought of it that way. Tell me more...

• Address negative energy: Openly addressing the negative energy or behavior as dysfunctional may be necessary, but must be done carefully so as not to stay in the energy instead of moving out of it. This is best done when you have established working principles that you can point to as not being followed.

• How questions: Asking how questions in a meeting can immediately shift the conversation from the problem to the solution, e.g., "How can we make a decision now?" can redirect energy. You can also ask the parties in a discussion that is blocking a decision to make an offer to the other side, e.g., "What can you offer to commit to?"

Preventing Derailments in Meetings

We recognized that derailments often stem from a universal need for appreciation, being heard, and feeling valued. Structuring meetings to allow this in every meeting may also be a great prevention for destructive derailments to happen. They include check-in rounds where everyone has an equal chance to speak or celebrating compromises when participants move beyond their self-interests to reach agreements. (Remark: Check the free templates we offer on our webpage on how to design partnering meetings here if you’d like more ideas on that).

Our discussion also touched on the role of conflict in meetings in general, and we debated whether responding aggressively to an aggressor is ever helpful in bringing meetings back to a productive zone.

Finally, given our meeting overload and time constraints, we ended up with the "big" questions of whether we need to question our traditional assumptions about human productivity in the face of changing work dynamics and AI in general and what it means to deal with paradoxes. We'll address these broader questions in the PLA Think Tank format for a suitably longer, fruitful, and informed discussion.

Have had other experiences? How do you redirect derailed meetings back to the productive partnering zone? Share your experiences with us, I am sure they probably will inspire others here too!

Overview quarterly open PLA Community meet-up 2024 - Register for free here

20 March 2024 | How to create buy-in from executives to invest in a cultural shift (towards a more partnering culture)?

21 June 2024 | How can we guide meetings back into the zone of productive partnering?

27 September 2024 | How to boost engagement  -The most powerful questions to ask

6 December 2024 | tbd - You can leave us your wishes for topics here

Kindly note that in order to keep our meet-ups a space of private, intimate and confidential learning we only include my sharings into the replay of our meet-ups.

Summary of Key Points

Topic: How to create buy-in from executives to invest in a cultural shift (towards partnering leadership)?

Many who embrace the concept of Partnering Leadership as a desirable shift often ask me: How can we persuade my senior management to support this cultural transformation? What a great question.

When I founded Human Facts (human-facts.com), I had to learn painfully how difficult it is to convince managers to invest in culture change - not to mention consulting services for it.

Now, looking back on a 15-year journey of invaluable experience, learning, stumbling failures and surprising successes, I've found some more answers and ways to meaningfully discuss and offer cultural change - ironically, by acknowledging certain limitations.

I am happy to share here what have been the major shifts in my thinking that have led me to do things differently than before - without claiming universal validity.

1.       I am not selling to fix a problem, I am inspiring to unlock a vision. My mindset when approaching this kind of “pitch situation” is not to sell cultural change as a product or service. Instead, it's about facilitating a meaningful discussion about it. My aim isn't to solve a problem, but to inspire and encourage people to dear a broader vision and dream of what they want to achieve.

2.       My aim is not to persuade or convince - my aim is to clarify. Nobody likes to feel that they are being "sold" something or that they are being pressured into a decision. Including myself. That's why my aim is to provide insight and facilitate understanding, rather than trying to convince anyone of a particular point of view. My aim is to shed light on the possibilities of cultural work as an important lever for their vision and what it takes to make this work truly effective. And of course I'll be ready to share some relevant figures, empirical evidence, examples and cases to illustrate the impact of cultural work.

3.       I address explicitly limitations. Instead of making promises, whether it's about my own capabilities as a consultant or the challenges inherent in cultural work, I started to point out explicitly and honestly what can realistically be achieved, where boundaries are, and  what potential obstacles lie ahead. And quite counterintuively that is where most trust and buy-in is earned.

How do these principles shape my conversations? That’s what I lately shared in our free PLA Community Meet-up Call. Feel free to watch the replay of the essence.

But I'm sure there's more to discover - would anyone else like to share their experiences with how to get buy-in from managers for cultural change here? What worked for you, what didn't? Thank you - your experiences are likely to inspire others here too!

Overview quarterly open PLA Community meet-up 2024 - Register for free here

20 March 2024 | How to create buy-in from executives to invest in a cultural shift (towards a more partnering culture)?

21 June 2024 | How can we guide meetings back into the zone of productive partnering?

27 September 2024 | tbd - You can leave us your wishes for topics here

6 December 2024 | tbd - You can leave us your wishes for topics here

It was a little 3-year-old girl in Morocco who gave me the smallest and at the same time biggest demonstration of partnering this month : she was sitting on the front bar of the moped that her big brother was driving, and as they passed me, she laughed at me, raised her arm and shouted joyfully with a charmingly pronounced French "Bonshour"! Without any fear of contact and with shining eyes, she greeted me, a complete stranger from a completely different culture, and gave me her most beautiful smile. Just like that, for no reason, and simply from heart to heart - this moment left me with an enchanted heart and a big smile.

I realised how often I complain about a lack of being seen or appreciation - yet I simply fail to breathe in the moments when other people send me kindness and love, such as the acknowledgement of a client, the hug of a child or the compliment of my husband. This little girl reminded me to see and receive more gratefully how much love surrounds me when I am not busy to expect it in my preferred format.

Markus Raetz is a Swiss sculptor who embodies perspective taking at its best. For those of you in Switzerland, you might want to enjoy his current exhibition at the Kunstmuseum Bern, entitled "oui non si no yes no" (until February 2024).

PLA Podcast #6 | November 2023

In a world saturated with diverse viewpoints, we often find ourselves overwhelmed and tempted to ignore or resist perspectives that differ from our own. Yet, in doing so, we risk overlooking one of the most extraordinary facets of human intelligence: the ability to connect our minds and hearts, unlocking new horizons by discovering common ground and elevating our collective consciousness.

Join us in this enlightening podcast as we delve into the art of perspective-taking with two distinguished leadership experts, Dr. Claude Heini from Switzerland and Jason Kay, originally from South Africa and now based in Berlin, Germany. Together, we'll uncover the profound benefits of cultivating our 'perspective-taking muscle,' drawing on their extensive knowledge and practical insights as leadership development coaches.

Our conversation addresses essential questions, such as:

• The effects and advantages that perspective-taking can unlock [17:47]

• Understanding the reasons why it is challenging to embrace perspectives that conflict with our own [24:02]

• Practical 'life hacks' for navigating emotionally charged encounters with differing viewpoints and the various dimensions of perspective-taking [28:40]

• Methods and strategies to regularly exercise and refine your perspective-taking skills within a leadership context [36:56]

• How we can train our muscle of perspective-taking on a regular basis [48:17 ]

• Recognizing the limits of perspective-taking and when it can become counterproductive [54:35]

• And: how perspective-taking has personally transformed our lives [10:56]

The most profound lesson I gained from our conversation is that perspective-taking extends beyond merely stepping into others' shoes. It also involves a conscious connection with our own perspective, taking responsibility for it without becoming excessively emotionally identified with it.

Embark on this enlightening journey with us and let’s unlock a sea of possibilities for solutions, innovation, deeper connections, and, perhaps most importantly in today's divided world, a shared space for conflict resolution and peace.

If you'd like to learn more about the work of Dr. Claude Heini and Jason Kay as leadership development consultants and coaches, please find below their respective websites and LinkedIn Profiles:

• Dr. Claude Heini “Leading Power” – LinkedIn Profile

• Jason Kay “Consulting Group Berlin” – LinkedIn Profile